I Had Two Important Ego Checks on Sunday

On Sunday I had two important ego checks:

A little background - I was on tour opening up for Prezence and DubFX. Dub has been an inspiration for more than a decade, and Prezence and I have become close friends the last couple years. Dub was allowing me and Prezence to jump on one of his tracks and do a verse. A huge blessing.

So, first, I was sitting in the car talking with Miriam and explaining to her that I was not sure if the verse I was rapping on Dub's song was working. I'd already done it twice but felt like I was rushing and it wasnt fitting perfect. Miriam subtly suggested I try something new, a different verse from one of my other songs.

My first instinct was to get grumpy. My ego was starting to feel offended. I heard him shout "Who the fuck is she?!?! What does she know about my songs or music?!"

I didn't say any of this out loud. I did say, please speak up. If you have something to say, just say it. I reminded her I value her opinion above anyone else and if she has doubts, I have doubts.

This time she said it more clearly, letting me know that she thought I could do better with a different verse that would flow easier. She suggested Reflection.

I sat quietly for several minutes. After I tended to my ego and let him know that all was well, I started to practice the lyrics to Reflection in my head. Miriam was right. It would fit better.

I turned on the music and practiced in the car with her. I later told Dub I was going to try something new based on Miriam's suggestion. He was stoked about it.

Second ego check - The time comes for me to jump on stage and do the verse. There were 500 plus people in the area of the stage, the crowd was bouncing, the music was booming, and I was ready.

When Dub called me out I started to do my verse when multiple things happened - feedback from the monitor which momentarily through me off, and then I went completely blank about half way threw the verse, especially because I had just made the change hours before. Ouch.

I laughed it off and tried to recover but I couldn't remember my words. I thanked Dub and started to walk off the stage but him (and the crowd) insisted I do it again. Of course I did.

I hit the verse again and sailed through it perfectly, and the crowd went wild.

Of course, this did not feel good to stumble for a moment in front of the biggest crowd I've performed for thus far. My heart sank for a moment. But I didn't let this stop me. I did it again and succeeded.

Both of these moments checked my ego and humbled me. These sorts of things are good for the soul from time to time.

Now, I am ready to rise even higher and not allow these mistakes or ego reactions to slow me down or impede my success.